I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
