For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
