She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
