My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
