my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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