Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
