I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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