If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
