Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
