he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
