He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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