who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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