But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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