Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
