ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
