mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
