She announced her abortion via fbk
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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