im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
