In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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