omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize