did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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