Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
