the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i dont even know how to be here
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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