i permit you to call me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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