it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
