Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
