Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
