the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
