fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
