I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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