Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
