What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
