He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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