Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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