Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
