My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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