If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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