I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
