My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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