I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
