Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
