How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize