I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
