You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
