I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
