Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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