wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
