I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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