Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
