i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
