I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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