are you so shy because you have an std?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
