She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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