Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my shit smells like andre
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
