Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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