I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
