why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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