More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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