there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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