life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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