I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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