Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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