He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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