God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
how does that bad decision feel?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
