Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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