I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
