you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
